Secretly In Love
by Querida123
Summary: Hermione and Ron are both in relationships...but not with eachother. She is secretly in love with Ron! She just can never seem to be able to tell him her real feelings. Or can she? Rated M for later chapters.
1. Karina, the blonde bimbo

**Okay so, its set after Deathly Hallows but Ron and Hermione didn't get together in my version. Sooo, read this. It's all explained in the first chapter. And more is to be explained. Review please! It'll mean alottt. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters except Colin and Karina!**

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I am about to walk out the door with a guy I don't really love. The man I'm in love with is across the other side of the room downing some fire whiskey.

He's got fiery red hair and a temper as short as a match stick. He doesn't love me though, he's got that stupid blonde bimbo over there in the corner.

Ron Weasley. The love of my life.

"Love? Are you coming?" asked my boyfriend, Colin.

"Uh, yeah, I just need to get my coat." I say, walking away and leaving him standing there twiddling his thumbs, he wasn't used to being in a place full of my family and friends.

I walked my way over to Harry and told him I was leaving now, it was pretty much a Christmas thing. I hadn't actually seen Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Mrs Weasley, Mr Weasley and Fred and all of that lot for at least a couple of months.

I now worked as a healer and loved every minute of it, well, I used to love every minute of it, until I met Ron down in the wards after not seeing him for a total of 2 years.

"You're leaving? This party's only just begun!" Harry cried, holding Ginny's hand.

"Yeah, well, Colin's getting a bit uncomfortable" as I said this I noticed Harry shoot him a slightly dirty look before looking back at me with a frown on his face.

"So? Ron's here, you haven't spoken to Ron since last Christmas" Harry said "I know he want's to talk to you."

"Well he should come over and talk to me then! He shouldn't be so stubborn!"

"Hermione, everyone knows that Ron's stubborn like this, just go and say hello, I know you want too."

"Fine, not that he'll care, he'll be too busy running around after Karina" I say with a slight hint of annoyance.

Harry raised his eyebrows "there's nothing wrong with Karina"

"Of course _you_ don't think so, she's a model for _Witches Which Weekly_, every guy loves her."

"Not true, I like her for her personality, not her appearance."

"She doesn't even have a personality, so don't give me that, anyway, I'm gonna say hi to Ron, wish me luck" I put down my glass of water and gave myself a pep talk before going over to say hello to him.

I'm not usually this nervous, it's just that when the war ended we lost contact, when we say lost contact I mean Karina stole my new address and phone number and ripped it to shreds.

She says it was by accident but it left me thinking that everyone had pretty much forgotten about me. I had only given my address to Ron, thinking that he would spread the word around but no, Karina had gotten there first and put it through her shredder.

I only saw Ron in that ward the 2 years later, he had broken his collar bone playing Quidditch (he was pretty much word famous as a Qudditch player now) and I had been assigned to fix him up.

"Ronald." I say formally, suddenly aware of my bushy hair and my rosy cheeks.

"Oh!" he says, only just noticing I had been standing there "Hi…"

"How are you doing these days? Still with Karina?" I ask with resentment.

"Oh, um, yeah, she didn't do that to your address and everything, just incase you still think it was her."

"Oh really? Who was it who accidentally ripped up a piece of paper with all my new information on it? Any ideas?"

"Look, maybe it was my dog, you know, the one I got just before you moved, he had two heads and everything, he could easily have ripped it up. I just know that Karina swore she never did it." Ron said, he drank the last of his fire whiskey and looked at me straight in the eyes.

There it was, that connection that we still hadn't lost. Or maybe that was just me being totally and completely head over heels for him.

"So your dog ripped it up and then placed it at the bottom of Karina's paper shredder?"

"I guess so." Ron said, shrugging his manly shoulders. All that Quiditch did him good. Really good. I don't look too bad myself, I had grown into myself and I had filled out quite nicely but obviously not as nicely as busty blonde Karina. The supermodel for guys magazines, as if I could ever measure up to her.

"It's not like you shredded up your contacts to us, you could have popped over to see me!" Ron said defensively, I could tell he was angry.

"Ron, I waited for months for someone to visit me, when I first moved I thought I would come over to you instead but then I just thought about it, why wouldn't anyone come and see me and my new house? How could I go over after thinking that everyone was glad to be shot of me? How, Ron?" I say, brushing my hair sadly out of my eyes. He reached out and did it for me instead. I blushed and coughed uncomfortably.

"How could you think we wanted rid of you? That's the last thing any of us wanted." Ron reached out and grabbed my hand, his ears went red in doing so but I still felt my heart beat get faster just by his touch. Colin never managed to do this to me. Never.

"Snuggles! What are you doing with _her_?" whimpered Karina as she scampered over, her pouty looking lips looked glossed up and beautiful. Yeah, as if anyone could measure up to her.

I rolled my eyes "_She_ has a name, Karina…" I gazed at her "…so use it."

"Whatever, snuggles shall we leave? I bought some sexy new lingerie for you, I'll put it on right away if we leave now."

Ron looked embarrassed and ordered another fire whiskey. I swear any happiness that may have been in me just left as soon as she mentioned her sexy new lingerie. I stood in a sulk and just bathed in all my hate for that stuck up model.

"I want to stay a bit longer, sorry Kar."

"Well, that's fine, but I have such a treat for you later on." she blew him a kiss and scurried away again back to all her own friends. I still stood there saying nothing when I got jigged out of my trance by Colin.

"Um, I've been waiting for a long time, can we leave now?" he asked impatiently.

"Sorry, yeah, bye Ron."

"Who's' this?" he interrupted, looking kind of mad.

"My boyfriend, Colin" I introduced them "Colin, this is Ron, one of my old best friends from school." and the love of my life, I added in my head. Ron looked him up and down and then said hello in a rude voice.

"I never knew you got together with someone" Ron said, looking disheartened.

"Yeah, we've been together for 5 months now" I say, looking up at Colin and smiling, he slid his arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze.

"5 months huh? Well, maybe we can meet up again soon" he shot Colin another look "without your boyfriend, I think we need to catch up."

"Yeah, okay, come on Colin" I say, giving Ron a kiss on the cheek. I left the room with my lips burning, I didn't just want to kiss his cheek. I wanted, no, I needed his lips. _His cheek just wasn't enough for me._


	2. Woops

**Kind of a long chapter! Stick with this, it will get a lot better! Okay so I'd like at least 6 reviews before I update this.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Colin and Karina.**

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"Move in with me?" asked Colin. I was sitting in his apartment nibbling on a biscuit when he just came out with it.

"Please, I'd love you too" he carried on. I placed my biscuit on the table and held his hands. He had manly hands but they weren't _Ron's _manly hands. What was I doing with Colin? I didn't love him.

"You want me to move in with you?" I say stupidly.

"Yes, come on, we can start planning our future together"

"We've only been going out for 5 months, it's a bit soon for all this, isn't it'?" I say kindly to Colin, he had dark brown hair and blue eyes. It was a trait that many people didn't carry. Brown hair and blue eyes. It was unusual, apparently.

"We can buy our own house, you can have your own study, I know how much you need your quiet study time, I can give you that, please, I love you Herms" he said, giving my cheek a pinch.

Herms. I hated that nickname. I hated anyone pinching my cheek. It was so patronising.

"Don't all me Herms please, and really, I don't think we should move in together"

"Please! I love you! Don't you love me?"

"Uh, of course I do…" I stopped and stared at him. He stared at me back. Oh no, what have I done?

"You love me? You've never told me that before!" Colin's joy was obvious. His eyes practically lit up.

"Well, I don't know, I guess so, well, no, Colin…please…"

"You love me! This is great news! I'm going to ring my parents, they'll start saving up the wedding funds for us, as will your parents I'm sure"

I stood up in a panic "Wedding? What wedding?!"

"Ours, well, not yet but it will happen, I can feel it in my bones, Oh Herms, you love me!"

I didn't know what was going on. I never said I loved him, well, I guess I implied it but it was all the heat of the moment. In fact, Colin sort of irritates me, I don't love him but he loves me. He adores me with all of his heart.

The door bell rang. I left Colin trying to contact his parents through our fire grate when I answered the door.

"Ron!" I yelped. I hadn't expected it to be him.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking as hot as ever.

"Well, not really, it's a bad time" I say, glimpsing behind and seeing Colin bobbing around in the background. With happiness, no doubt.

"It doesn't look like a bad time" he said, pushing passed me.

"Ronald!" I said. Typical, Ron is as rude as ever. I liked it, it made me feel secure. Ron made me feel safe. Colin, well, Colin made me feel annoyed.

I shut the door behind me with a groan and made my way back to Colin.

"What the hell?" said Ron, looking incredulous.

"Herms loves me!" Colin said gleefully. I wanted to hit my head against a brick wall or something. I didn't love him. I didn't! Ron, I don't! I couldn't say that. I couldn't break Colin's heart.

"What?" Ron said in disbelief. When I said nothing the realisation sunk in and Ron went very pale.

"What's wrong Ron? Do you want some water? What's happened?" I say in a panic. Unsure of why Ron had turned as white as a sheet of parchment.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong at all, everything's just _great_" Ron was still pale "Look, I'll be off now"

"But you came here for a reason, did you want to meet up? We should. Later. I'll come around to your place for 6pm, okay? Now, go home and have a rest, you really don't look well" I say, guiding him towards a door.

"See ya Donald!" shouted Colin from the fire grate.

"It's Ronald!" ron yelled back and then he said in a whisper "arsehole"

"Ron! Language!"

"Well he bloody well is, I'll see you later, and I'll make sure Karina's gone out" Ron said, opening the door.

Yeah, make sure Karina's out so I can have my way with you. This is just so unlike me! I blushed at that thought and said goodbye to Ron.

He left and I was alone with Colin.

"Herms! I'll start looking for a house tomorrow, it will be magnificent!" Colin said. Oh just shut up, I felt like telling him. I longed to see Ron again. I already missed him and he only just left.

"I never said I'd move in with you"

"But you love me" Colin said, looking like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Uh…but…you see, Colin…um…" I trailed off, I didn't know what to say. It was so frustrating. Normally I knew what to do for everything! It was no secret that I had brains and I'm proud to say I use them on a daily basis. I'm never normally so confused. I'm good at sorting things out.

The phone rang. I grabbed to answer it. "Ginny! It's you! Hi!" I say gladly, I moved into his bedroom and locked the door. I would just tell Ginny about it, she'll help me.

"Ginny, Colin thinks I love him"

"Um, so?" said Ginny flippantly.

"Well, I don't" I say, taken aback at how Ginny didn't care.

"You don't love him?" Ginny was the one who sounded confused now. Although I don't know what's to be confused about.

"No…"

"I thought you did…" Now I was confused, why would Ginny think I loved him? I never gave out that impression did I?

"No, I don't, but anyway Ginny, now he's talking about moving in together, he can even hear wedding bells! Help me Ginny!"

"Oh right, because you love Ron, yeah?"

"Um…nope…" I say, not sounding very convincing.

"I thought you were over Ron, I can't beleive this! This is brilliant news! Finally you can be with Ron!" Ginny said in a giggle.

"No, he's with Karina and I'm with Colin, besides, Ron doesn't love me, I'll know later on, we're meeting and if he doesn't tell me then it's obvious he doesn't like me…in that way."

I had a good old chinwag with Ginny all the way up to 6pm. It was time to see Ron. Alone. The last time we were alone was at the ward but even then we were surrounded but other patients. I was nervous. I had butterflies in my stomach the sizes of birds.

"Finally! You've been in there practically all night! I've cooked you a special meal, to celebrate our love" Colin said with a grin.

"Sorry Colin, I'm going out" I told him, I didn't care that much. I loved Colin as a friend. Sure, when we met I fancied him a bit but it passed. The problem was that by the time it passed I had already been with him for a few weeks and Colin had already started falling for me. I saw that, everybody saw that, even Colin saw it. And by then, I just couldn't break it off with him. I couldn't be that mean.

"Oh…" Colin's grin quickly disappeared. I shouted a mere goodbye and apparated outside Ron's apartment.

This was it. Time to found out how Ron really feels.


	3. Caught in the act

**I know I said I wouldn't update until I got 6 reviews but I've got quite a lot of people adding this to their favourite story list so I'm gonna update anyway. **

**But this time can I actually get at least 4 reviews. Pleaseee. I want to know if people want to read more.**

**Disclaimer: I own Colin and Karina.**

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"Ron? It's me" I say, I didn't need to knock or anything. Ron knew I was coming over so I just apparated into his apartment.

There was no answer.

I wandered around the place. He had a nice living room, although it was cluttered with all his rubbish. Typical of Ron to leave it messy when he knew I was coming over.

I went into his kitchen. It wasn't as messy as the living room, it had a little table centred in the middle and their was actually nothing on the kitchen sides and no washing up to be done.

So, he likes to have a clean kitchen, I guess.

"Ron!" I shout again, louder this time. I slowly walked around and made my way to a door. Maybe his bedroom? I opened it slowly.

"Oh, my God!" I scream and shut the door quickly. Oh my God. Oh my God. The door opens again and Ron comes scrambling out.

"I'm sorry Hermione!" he says, shoving on a t-shirt and some trousers. His hair was all messed up and he looked pretty sweaty.

"I thought you knew I was coming over!" I headed for the door. I was unable to look at Ron now that I had saw him like that with Karina. It hurt me. A lot.

"Aw Hermione, I'm _so _sorry you saw that" Karina said, she had came out of the bedroom and was only wearing a silk nightdress. She said it in such a way that made me think that she didn't mean it. Actually, I know she didn't mean it.

"No you aren't" I say bitterly. I opened the front door and left. I was shaken up. I was so jealous and upset, there was no words to describe how bad I felt.

Ron joined me soon after that. I had only walked out into the hallway, shock had taken over me and I was in tears. I wiped them away as fast as I could when I heard Ron coming.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to see that, hell, I tried to say no but she's quite…stubborn"

"You tried to say no? how about actually saying no?" I say angrily.

"She's quite hard to say no to, 'Mione"

I stopped. He hadn't called me 'Mione for years. It felt so good to hear him say that, I almost wanted to hug him. Hold him and never let him go. Make him mine, forever. But then all that hurt came flooding back. And I felt angry. Really, really angry.

"You knew I was coming! Couldn't you have told her?"

"I did tell her! She said we would be finished by the time you arrived"

"You disgust me, Ronald. You can't even tell her to wait until I was gone?"

"Why do you care so much?" Ron said, he looked at me. He looked and stared. His piercing blue eyes bore into mine. I almost fell in love all over again. I wanted to kiss him, to feel what those lips felt like on mine. Why should Karina get him? I truly loved Ron. Tears tried to fall but I didn't let them. I didn't want Ron knowing how much he was hurting me.

"I don't. Besides, Colin and I are moving in together so why would I care about you and some bimbo?" I stormed off after that. I took one last look back and I could see Ron standing there, he looked sad. He ran his hands through his hair and leaned against a wall. He looked as if he was about to cry…

What did he have to be sad about?! I'm the sad one. I'm the one who has just had her heartbroken.

Damnit. I will show him how much I _don't_ love him.

I'll show him.

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**Ha. Hermione's going to show him, apparently. Well, I know where I'm going with this and it's worth the read. So please carry on with this. I know you all like the Ron & Hermione smut but you'll just have to wait. Or will ya? Who knows! Review please! **

**Oh and the next chapter is going to be in Ron's POV! ooooo.**


	4. Flashbacks

**Here it is. At least 4 reviews please. D**

**Disclaimer: I own Colin and Karina.**

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RONS POV.

Moving in together?

Moving in _together_? Bloody hell. They must be serious. More serious than I thought. I leaned my head against the wall and brushed my hands through my red hair.

Bloody hell. My Hermione and that git? Well, I know she's not mine, I ruined that the minute I said yes to dating Karina but I just felt lust for Karina. I've always loved Hermione. Damnit, I'm such an idiot.

Karina pretty much enticed me into bed though, I told her. I told her _a lot _that 'Mione was coming over.

_One hour ago._

_Karina was coming closer. She had slid on some slinky dress and was walking towards me seductively._

"_Karina, Hermione is gonna be here soon…" I say nervously, I backed away from her, I didn't want to get into this. Not when Hermione was due in the next half hour._

"_Oh Ron, you don't get it, we love each other, and most importantly, you love my body," Karina said in a voice that was so quiet it was almost a whisper "oh, and I love yours, god, I love yours."_

_With that Karina ran her hands down my chest and almost ripped off my t-shirt. I could feel her hands exploring my chest. I wanted her to carry on. I wanted her to. Oh God, no I don't. I really don't. I want Hermione. She's due here so soon._

"_No. Karina, she's not going to be here long, wait, weren't you going out?" I say "with some friends, you were gonna go and catch a film with some of your mates."_

_I was overwhelmed with Karina's perfume, she had obviously sprayed it all over her body. She knew I loved it. She still had her hands on my chest and was lightly brushing her lips against it._

"_Oh, God…" I moan, it felt so good. I was close to just letting her take me into the bedroom when I decided to try again. One last time. I shoved her away quickly and looked at the clock "Not long 'til she's here, please, just go with your friends."_

"_Ron, my sexy little thing, we won't take long, come on, please…" She took my hand and guided me towards my bedroom._

_The rest was history. Not that I even wanted to go through with it. Well, part of me did. Really really did. The other part, the biggest and the main part of me was screaming at me that I didn't even love Karina. The one I really love and want is going to be here soon and there was a chance that should catch us. But I had to go, she wouldn't shut up about it. She would probably be annoyed with me for a very long time and I didn't want the hassle. I just didn't._

_End of flashback._

I am a fully qualified idiot. It's official. I almost felt tears coming but I stopped them when I noticed that Hermione was still looking at me. She caught me looking and carried on down the hall. She looked so mad.

I hated making her mad like this. She was my Hermione. The one I loved. I wish I could tell her but I didn't know that Colin and her were so serious.

It broke my heart to know that Colin and Hermione would be able to spend all their time together. He would be able to see her the minute he opened his eyes in the morning. He would be able to see her the minute before he shut his eyes to go to sleep.

I need to tell her.

Or should I? Damn that git! If it wasn't for bloody Colin I would be able to march right over there and tell her.

Wait.

What if she doesn't even like me? Well, I'm pretty much set with Karina. All guys are jealous of me and I know she loves me a lot. Or maybe she just wants to be with someone who was famous. Which I was, now.

Colin. What sort of name is Colin? I can see him right now as clear as day in my mind. I can see him grinning like a goon. Oh no, I can see his dirty hands touching Hermione. She's laughing happily along with him. She looks beautiful, like usual.

Her eyes are filled with happiness and her beautiful slender body is wrapped around Colins waist.

I'm filled with jealousy.

I get out my phone and ring Harry. He answers, thankfully. I can hear Karina inside giggling. She's probably on her phone talking to some of her friends. Or her 'Girlfriends' as she calls them.

"Harry, mate."

Harry answers, "Ron? Alright mate?"

"Not really, can I come over?"

"Sure you can…" Harry trails off "Ginny! Get off! I'm talking to your brother…oh…that feels good."

"Harry!" I say, as loud as I could in my whisper. I didn't want Karina to hear me.

"Oh, sorry mate, yeah, come over."

"You and Ginny better leave each other alone when I'm there." I grunt.

"Yeah, yeah, we will, just apparate over" Ginny says, she must have taken the phone from Harry. Well, that's women for ya.

I did as she asked. Well, commanded.

"You wanna talk about Hermione?" Ginny asks me the second I appeared in front of her. I look at her in shock.

"How the hell did you know that?"

"I guessed. So, talk." Ginny says. She sits down and stares at me. I get a little uncomfortable and turn to Harry.

"I kind of wanted to talk to you alone."

Harry nods and sends Ginny off but let me tell you, she did not go quietly. Turns out she wanted to be involved in this. For some reason that I don't know about.

"Harry. Colin and Hermione are moving in together and I'm not handling it all that well." I slouch back on Harry's couch and sigh. I'm so stuck on what to do. Should I talk to her? Should I beat the hell out of colin? That's all I really want to do. Beat him into a pulp, or maybe just put a really bad curse on him.

"They're moving in?" Harry says, equally as shocked. "Well, mate, it was bound to happen, you should have made your move."

"I know. Do you think I should tell her?" I say, I scratched my nose and put my head in my hands with despair. I want Hermione. Every bit of her.

"I don't know, mate." Harry said "I guess she's settling down with Colin, do you really think you should ruin that?"

"Ruin? So you don't think she'll love me back?"

"Um…I don't know" Harry looked uncomfortable.

Right there and then I apparated without a bye.

I didn't know if Harry was implying that she did love me or that she didn't. But I was pretty fed up with not knowing.

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**I dunno if it'll be in Ron's POV next or not. I can't make up my mind. You'll have to wait and see! At least 4 reviews please.**


	5. Bathtub fun

**Okay. I haven't updated for absolute months. Maybe a year, maybe two? I just found this, and I wanted to carry it on. Now, as you might realise, my style of writing has changed, and everything might be a bit different. It has been a year or two after all! =D **

**This is M rated. PLEASE review, to let me know if its actually worth carrying this on again. Please don't be like what I used to be like, where you read, enjoy it, but never say anything. I really want to know what you think.**

**Enjoy! I'll update soon.**

**Disclaimer: I own Colin and Karina.**

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**Hermiones POV**

I walked very slowly in tears back to my house. I pleaded in my head that Colin had left, but I knew that being the annoying guy that he was, he was most likely still hovering about, waiting for me. I could have apparated home but I felt like I needed a good cry and that walking it off might help.

That bimbo was _all_ over Ron. I only caught a slight glimpse, but what I saw made me boil up in jealousy. I had never felt so jealous in my life, not even when Lavender was snogging his face off in our sixth year. I just longed to be able to touch him the way Karina did.

Of course Ron would never want that. Every male in the wizarding world wanted to have their way with Karina, and Ron was the one lucky guy who could do so. He would never want me. I was shameful in comparison to her.

I stared at my cute little house in front of me, dreading walking inside. It started to rain and I suddenly felt my heart beat increase. I just loved Ron so much. I ached for him. I wanted to run my hands through his fiery red hair and whisper him I loved him every morning.

The rain trickled down my face and I found myself enjoying this cool shower. I dreamt of Ron. I dreamt that he would come running up to me any minute and pick me up and kiss me like I always wanted. I then felt pathetic as I hopefully looked behind me. There was nobody. The sudden let down made me cry again, and the image of Karina and Ron flashed once again my head.

"Herms! Goodness!" I heard that irritating voice once again and I groaned. I didn't want to feel this way about Colin. I wanted to love him but I couldn't. I never would when my heart belonged to another. "What are you doing out in the rain? Come inside!"

I looked at Colin, he was standing under the porch of my house, squinting at me, with confusion flashing over his handsome face. I must have looked a mess, like a broken woman.

"I'm coming, Colin." I sighed. I slowly made my way into my house, sniffing in the smell of old books that my house always had. It wasn't comforting like it usually was. Ron's sudden reappearance in my life had really messed me up, I concluded.

Colin gave me a long, lingering kiss on the lips and I guilty felt the urge to wipe my mouth as he walked away. I held my head in my hands. What was I doing to myself? To Colin?

"Could you go home now, Colin? I need some time alone."

"Of course, Herms." He grinned at me, not sensing that anything was wrong. How could he not sense anything, there were obvious tear marks down my face. There was no chance they could be mistaken for rain drops.

"Don't call me that, please." I said, keeping up my polite appearance whilst in my head I was screaming at him to get of my house, out of my life.

"See you tomorrow my sweet cheeks." He grinned and bounded out of my house, happy and unaware.

I suddenly felt cold and I shivered violently, feeling goose bumps arise on my arms and neck. I needed a nice, warm bath. I ran upstairs and ran the hot water. I dreamed of another life where Ron wanted me as the water filled up the bathtub.

I undressed and lowered myself into the hot water. It felt nice. I sighed in response to its soothing effect. My thoughts turned to Ron, as they always did, but this time it was him doing what he was doing with Karina with me. The thought set a fire in the pit of my abdomen, and an ache appeared down below. I was surprised by my body's response, but I knew that this was how I felt about Ron.

I knew one way of getting rid of the growing ache, so I slowly ran my hands down my chest, until I reached one of my perky breasts. They were already erect with arousal, and my gentle caressing added fuel to the fire. I gasped as I felt a wave of heat around my vagina, and I began to almost throb. I led my hand down below into my mass of curls and used my thumb to circle my clit. The pleasure was almost immediate, and I imagined that my own hand was Ron's hand, and I felt a whole new wave of pleasure pass over me.

I slowly put one finger into myself, and began thrusting it in and out. I needed more, so I added two fingers, and eventually a third. I couldn't help but gasping, moaning and gripping the bathtub with pleasure as I felt the full effects overcome me. I imagined now that it was no longer Ron's hand, but his own penis pumping in and out of me. I quickened the pace and the image of Ron became so vivid, I almost lost my self and before long I pushed myself over the edge, and ended it with a very loud shout of Ron's name.

I washed myself quickly and got out of the bath. I had done it before about Ron, but never had it felt like that. My want, my need for Ron was apparent to me, I just had to hide it from everyone else. It was an easy task to do, I had done it since I was 13. I blushed as I recalled what had happened in the bathtub, and I felt embarrassed. I had a boyfriend. It was wrong of me, terribly wrong.

For the rest of the night I relaxed in front of the television, watching some mindless rubbish about chimps and I smiled of how I knew that no witches or wizards would ever be jealous of this contraption. They had broomsticks to keep themselves entertained. I only had a television because my parents had been insistent on it, and I supposed it was good for nights like this where I wanted to forget my sorrows.

"Hermione."

I jumped up, gripping my dressing gown to me as I did so. "Merlins beard! Ron! What are you doing here?"

"Don't move in with Colin." He said. He walked over towards me, and I desperately wanted to pull him in for a passionate kiss, or even just a hug would do. I just wanted to touch him.

"Pardon?" I said, frowning my way through the battle that was going on in my head.

"Don't move in with him. I don't think he's right for you." Ron started pacing up and down. I remembered what I had seen him do a few hours before, and jealousy bubbled up inside of me again. I tried to keep it under control this time, unlike how I made a fool of myself outside his appartment. "I mean I know you love him, 'Mione. But really, he is completely wrong for you. I understand th-"

"I don't love him."

Ron stared at me. "What did you just say?"

"I don't love him, Ron." I repeated it, and Ron suddenly smiled. I didn't let myself be fooled. A smile meant nothing.

"Why are you moving in with him, then?" He asked. He crossed over towards me and sat down on my sofa. I sat beside him, feeling very aware that I was in only my dressing gown.

"I'm not. He's under the impression that I will be, but I won't." I sighed as I remembered the thought that crossed my mind before I left Ron's appartment. I thought I could make him suffer, make him pay. But really, what was he doing wrong? He was allowed to have sex with his girlfriend. I couldn't expect anything less. Yes, it would have been nice, more than nice, if he had waited to seduce her until after I had left, but he was a man, and I had always been taught that men were only in it for one thing.

"That makes me, very, very happy." Ron said, a lopsided grin appearing on his face. My heart burst with love for him, but I tried to keep a steady look on my face. It hurt to know that my feelings were only one-sided. "You look nice, 'Mione" Ron gave me a once over.

I gripped the dressing gown to myself again. "Thank you, well, I think you should be leaving now if that is all you wanted."

Ron looked at me for a minute or two. "I don't love Karina either, you know."

My heart felt like it stopped for a minute or two, and I answered a beat later than necessary. "That's good to know. Now, if you'd leave, I don't have anything underneath this dressing gown and it's making me uncomfortable talking to you like this."

I laughed in my head, uncomfortable, I think turned on was more the word I was after.

Ron stared and stared. "Leave Ron, please." I said again. Ron looked slightly in shock. "Ron?"

"Okay. I'm going. Er, bye, 'Mione." He apparated out with a last look at me, it felt like it burned into me. I wished to know what was going on in his mind. I laughed out loud at the thought that Ron didn't love Karina. Maybe there was hope for me yet. I wouldn't hold my breath though. I shook my head as if to get rid of any thoughts still lingering in my mind. I had a boyfriend. I had a boyfriend.


End file.
